K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
