But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
