The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Floor bacon is actually really good
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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