I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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