Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have aggressive nipples.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
