I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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