Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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