needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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