How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
