Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
