He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
