put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
