best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
zippers are such a cool invention
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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