Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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