Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.

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(925): View more from California

I hope this adventure ends at a hospital

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(704): View more from North Carolina

we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong

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(407): View more from Florida

Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break

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(310): View more from California

I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.

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(813): View more from Florida

Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?

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