Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
