I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
