I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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