I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
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