Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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