Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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