Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize