THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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