I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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