Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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