I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
