We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
