Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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