Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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