they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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