i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
