Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
