Can Purell be used as lube?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
