I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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