I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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