dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
