We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
