babies were throwing up all over the place
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
