Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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