I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
