She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
