Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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