Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
