I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
