respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
