woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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