theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
