I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
