none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
