For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
